Had the recent opportunity to meet Todd Litton, a young Houston Congressional aspirant. An impressive young man of the Beto variety, who may be among those who turn this mess around. A bellwether motto of his campaign is "Common Sense. Common Decency." Got me to thinking of our challenge to elevate the level of civic discourse with civility and mutual respect, when the tribalism and political rhetoric encourage impulsive, dismissive cynicism and snarkiness. Case in point...ME...
Mad Magazine and My Sort Of Apology
You readers already know I'm quite the well-read sophisticate. After a healthy start with Pooh and Pogo I graduated to Boy's Life, then on to Mad Magazine and Playboy ( for the articles, of course.) Those of you Mad Magazine aficionados may remember the "Scenes We'd Like To See," which featured Mad cartoon characters doing and saying those things we frequently wish to, but dare not in polite society. I fell too easily into that slippery trap when I wrote a Facebook post commending those who ran our Trumpsters away from hopeful restaurant respites from their conflicted jobs. A couple of my FB friends called me for piling on, being used to a higher level of civility from yours truly. Reminding me that I wasn't practicing my preaching. Touche.
A Favorite Reminder from Coop's In New Orleans
Balancing Courage and Civility...A Constant Challenge
Our constant struggle is to be true to our values, speak truth to power, be well-informed, while so many with whom we disagree knowingly lie, mislead and fear-monger relative to issues dear to us. It's tough to be civil in the face of those who are spouting or parroting misinformation in order to manipulate policy decisions which can have major repercussions for our families and communities. We each need to develop our own styles, be aware of our "hot buttons" so we don't find ourselves too easily trapped in hopeless arguments that can never be improved by amping up the rhetoric.
I loved hearing UT Chancellor Adm. McRaven respond to a query as to how he handled arguments with assertive sorts who were unreasonable and unrelenting in refusing to reason or compromise a position. McRaven responded, "I salute smartly and walk away." Wow! How perfect from one who is smarter and tougher than most any individual adversary. What a great lesson .
Be Informed and Leverage That to Disarm and Possibly Turn an Argument
My former somewhat red hair is long gone, but not my red-haired tendency to spout off too quickly, rather than take the deep breath, carefully consider the circumstances and gather my thoughts before hurrying an impulsive retort I'll later regret. I've learned from observing the best in the public arena, and I'm better now, but still a work in progress, as my apology described.
Now, when I hear a ridiculous assertion on some issue, I try to avoid the "you stupid jackass ( or something stronger ) comment and practice a more civil response like, " I appreciate that you feel strongly about that. I'm going to send you a David Brooks editorial (insert your fave source) that I found helpful in better understanding that issue." This approach can calm an argument, lower the stress level and perhaps salvage a friendship.
Our Choices...Not Right or Left, But Right and Wrong
Call us whatever. "We The People," "We are the They." A few loud, shrill, inexperienced partisan ideologues are imposing their will on us in executive order and policy form...because they can. Many of these actions can be reversed through more compassionate, thoughtful government. But, We The People are going to have to work harder, vote smarter and then support our elected and appointed officials who better represent the values of the majority of this Great Country. That will take courage and commitment, implemented with civility and constructive civic engagement.
We're experiencing too many examples and hints of the destructive forces that will set this Country back and dim the future for our children if we let them. I'm convinced that there is still an overwhelming capacity for good if we rise to our occasion. We have every reason to be discouraged and disappointed, but help is on the way. Its starts with our Friend in the Mirror. Voting, Acting, Treating others with Civility and Kindness. May the Gods of Our Understanding bless this Country and our commitment to its service.