Some Dramatic Wake-up Calls
Most of us have been touched by suicide. With family or friends. It's an uncomfortable subject-- shocking, unbelievable, painful. We usually can't easily reconcile the circumstances. Suicide reminds us of the frailty behind the mask. Their masks and ours, too. Celebrity suicides prompt reflection, because they're so high profile that we can't escape them. Robin Williams, Kate Spade, Anthony Bourdain. All folks at the top of their game, with seemingly much to live for. So, Why? The answers, like life, are complex, and so the act of suicide is always a catalyst for speculation. How might we better understand and prepare for future empathetic and sympathetic responses?
My photo of a sculpture from the Hui Retreat Center, Moloka'i, Hi.
Mental Health
"Mental Health Issues" is a quick response from those puzzled by suicides. However, that begs broader consideration. Suicides can be the result of chemical imbalance, family genetics, depression, despondency, hopelessness, addictions, a traumatic emotional or physical event, or some combo of the above. And while depression is a frequently stated marker for suicide, there are clinical and situational types of depression, and each is different.
Most of us have been situationally depressed, but we can recover fairly easy through positive awareness, counseling, anti-depressants and community support. I experienced this personally relative to my loss of a son to cancer, and on another occasion with a traumatic personal issue. They were both readily diagnosed and remedied. I know that most "macho" guys think they're above the use of anti-depressants. Nonsense. They can be extremely helpful, usually in short order. Ridiculous to suffer unnecessarily, when help is easily available. Clinical depression is more serious, reflecting more definitive chemical imbalance, and frequently requires more thorough diagnosis and treatment.
Others often see us more clearly than we can see ourselves. Family and friends will frequently notice concerning behaviors and proactively prompt our constructive response to them. A positive benefit of community.
Our Devices...Mixed Blessings For Sure
People need people. Real people. Real connection. Intimacy. Authenticity.
The devices that were supposed to help us connect often don't. We see too many folks actually isolated by these electronic "connectors." And the personas in these cyber-relationships are often our "best selves," real or imagined. Not the real selves that we often feel uneasy about revealing openly. If personal communications are limited to our devices, our self-worth can be diminished as we fool everyone but ourselves. Suicides are often prompted when people of all ages isolate themselves from honest community and then face days of personal reckoning. Cautionary tales as we attempt to limit our children's screen time relative to time for live social interaction.
Congress? Of Course. Read On And Consider.
Suicide is the last resort of those who are angry, depressed, disappointed and hopeless. I contend that many contributing circumstances could be eliminated or moderated if Congress would honor their oaths to represent our best interests. But, "We The People" have got to expect better and work and vote for same. Consider this:
We've dumbed down our public education system, don't have adequate accessible healthcare, don't have sufficient economic opportunity because we haven't trained our workforce for the jobs of the future. Teens are concerned they won't find jobs upon graduation. An aggressive infrastructure program could employ a significant number of our unemployed or under-employed fellow citizens, but has been neglected by a BIPARTISAN Congress. Congress has also allowed our military to send our sons and daughters into un-winnable wars, then failed to properly care for physically and mentally traumatized veterans upon their return. Suicide? In many cases, a desperate frequent choice.
TRUE COMMUNITY...The Good News!
We Can/Will Turn This Around...
My favorite flock of "Red Hats" from Bainbridge Island
This photo captures one of my favorite symbols of true community. Women who've lost partners, have serious health issues, but have chosen to live in community with others of common interests, rather than decline in isolation. They choose to live life out loud, making the most of their circumstances while they can. Being gifts to each other, themselves and those of us who observe them. Life lessons for us all.
Suicides can be precluded through thoughtful, inclusive communities. With dynamic programs to inspire and support healthy lifestyles. Our schools, faith-based organizations, major employers, neighborhoods, local government and non-profits can create collaborative partnerships that provide outreach, refuge, caring and compassionate programs with extended hands and hearts for those who need them. We all need them from time to time. Our communities need us to be alert to those who are hurting. Inspiring more friendships, saving victims from themselves. This is a good time for you to engage your friend in the mirror to determine what roles you might play. A smile, hug and outstretched hand are great ways to start.