MY ERRATIC PATH TO ME

The famous pioneer pathfinder/tracker Dan’l Boone was once asked if he’d ever been lost. He proudly responded, “Never! But I’ve been bewildered for several days at a time.” That certainly resonates with me, as I reflect on my efforts to slide and glide down that highway of life. Mine has not been a linear path, but I’ve kept on “choogling” through various life choices, and find myself aging out here in rapidly changing Austin, Tx. I’m grateful for the counsel and patience of family and friends, as I’ve erratically charted my path through some occasionally bewildering twists of the trail. Bear with me, and learn from my experience as you chart your own course. Boogie, Chillun!

You can tell from my expression that I was both bewildered and overwhelmed. Though three years younger, my sister Sara was/is the smart one, and often requested that I stand respectfully while she imparted valuable life lessons. She became Houston’s first woman Asst. DA. I learned how to dress myself. My collar could also be used as shelter during hail storms.

I’d always heard that girls were partial to “a man in uniform.” I seemed to be the exception to the rule. In retrospect, I fear that the helmet and 1 ft. high pants cuffs dissuaded the more discerning young ladies.

I always did very well…until the starting gun went off. My modest abilities were soon on public display. Buzzard Gulch cancelled their sponsorship.

I thought you just drank beer, got some sun and traversed the course to win the big bucks. I soon realized that I was spending so much on beer that I couldn’t afford the basic equipment …like golf tees. I lost as many golf clubs as I did balls. I was soon ridiculed off the course.

I at least had the red hair to blend with these other figures in Renoir’s “The Boat Party” at The Smithsonian. Other than that, I didn’t really blend.

Don’t believe your lying eyes. This is not what it seems. I wuz framed. Call my lawyer.

My wonderful son saw me struggling, and got me this entry-level opportunity in commercial real estate. I was a natural, but soon learned that it wasn’t really my calling.

My wife bought a large insurance policy on me, then encouraged me to be a rodeo clown. Go Figure! What could possibly go wrong?

Through the years, we’ve seen the evolution of the unemployed as they’ve struggled for some semblance of gainful respectability by attempting to be “consultants,” “day traders,” “crypto traders,” and now, “Influencers.” It’s easier to sound impressive and successful by declaring to be an “Influencer.” And I’ve already got the image and wardrobe to ease my access to that nebulous world. Call me and send me money. Wishing the best to all of us!